Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Heidi Klum: "A Day At The Beach"

Heidi Klum
A Day At The Beach
"Can I Lick That Sand Out Of There For You?"
"None Of These People Here Are Pretty
And No One's Said Anything About My Bubble!?!?
I Blow & Blow & Blow.  Everybody Watches Me Blow
But No One Compliments Me On How It Grows Large.

You Will Go To The Beach With Me.
I Never Wear Clothing And  You Will Enjoy Staring
At My Supple, Perky Breasts!"
"I'm Pretty Sure The Beach Is Down There
Next To The Water...Near That Sand"
News Bulletin:
A Vote Was Taken In Parliment Today.
The Overwhelming Majority Wish To See Heidi
Run Into The Ocean Several More Times.
We Understand A Special "Jiggle Coalition" Has Been Set
Up To Lobby For Jogging Down The Beach As Well.

Coming Up:
Bill Clinton On A Diplomatic Mission To Persuade
Jennifer Love Hewitt
In to Showing Us Something...Anything
Before It All Goes To Hell.
In A Statement From Miss Hewitt,
"No, They're Mine, All Mine"
Hewitt Admits Things Came Close After A Recent
Encounter With A Mix Of Peach Schnapps
And Wet Nail Polish (Shown Here):
Well, That Was A Close One Larry. 
I'd Like To Ask Our Camera Man To Zoom In to
See If We May Have Gotten
Anything Our Competitors Have Missed.
"Larry...I Have To Ask!!! Do I See Rim??? 
I Think I See Rim!!?

According To The Former President; A Full On 
Nipple Slip May Soon Be In The Offing.
"Told You You Would Like Them!
They Are Spectacular Aren't They?
Now Be A Dear & Go Get Me A Martini...
And A Banana Daiquiri For My Monkee...
Shaken, Not Stirred"
"Seal Saw Adrianne Curry Do This Picture And Thought It Looked Cool. He Says My Shot Looks Bettter. 
What Do You Think?

And Stop Chewing On Those Damn It!!!
I Paid Good Money For Those!

That's It Monkee! 
 I'm Sending You To Live With Seal And That
Husband Stealing Be-atch Of His Blake Lively. 
She If She'll Put Up With You Throwing Shit At Her Mother! I Guarantee She Won't Let You Have Her Nipples For Lunch.
Famous For:
  • American Supermodel
  • Victoria Secret's Angel
  • Career Took Off When She Got The Cover Of The 1998 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition
  • Her Nickname: "The Body"
  • Married Singer Seal In 2005. He Divorced Her In 2012...
 Leading Friends, Family & World Leaders
To Believe Seal Had Lost His Mind Or
Was Verging On Coming Out Of The Closet?!?!?! 
Come On Seal, "Look At This!':
And She Even Comes With Her Own Monkee!
By The Way My Little Monkee, Did You Know That Susan Dey Can Play The Tamborine! 
You Two Should Get Together And Jam At Our Place.
And Stop Chewing On Those Or I'll Take Your
Guitar Away When We Get Home.
Heidi Is Also Famous As Host Of
"Project Runway" (2004-Current)
"I Hope That's A Taco Truck Over There"
"Hey, If You Buy A Burrito From The
Guy In The Taco Truck He'll Give You A Hat!"  And He Invited Me To Come Back.  Wants To Teach Me To Paint"
"Wow, That Taco Sales Guy Loves To Paint!  And He Really Takes His Time Getting To Every Nook &...
How You Say, Cragnee"
"Between All The Mexican Food & Beer
I'm Not Feeling So Good.
Do I Suddenly Look Fat?
I Need A Nap."

Have We Met?"

"I'm Pretty Funny, Huh!"

"Guess Not"
"Should My Monkee Be Down There?"
"Weird Day At The Beach This Week"

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